So, I have been thinking. Where the hell are the Olsen twins? I mean I feel really decrepit that if someone were to ask me, so what’s the deal with the Olsen twins these days…?? I would have NO idea what to say. I don’t know who they are dating, what they are working on, if they are going to be in any movies, where in the world they are or what they’ve been wearing. All I know is that their sister was in a whacked out movie called Martha Martha Martha or some shit, and Ashley broke up with the dude from Hangover (Justin Bartha) sometime in the last year.
WHO AM I?! WHAT’S HAPPENED TO ME?! I have let myself go.
So, in the interest of ALL OF US…here are some updates:
February 18: Ashley Olsen shopping in NYC @ Bergdorf’s then coffee and pup walking in the West Village. Where was I?! Mary Kate also spotted a couple days earlier in NYC by her hotel.
Mary Kate has a boyfriend and hes old and creepy looking with two children. UMMM who is Olivier Sarkozy and why is Mary Kate dating him? well…
– He’s 42
– Divorced with 2 kids
– managing director of the Carlyle Group’s global financial services division
– Half brother to the former French Prez Nicolas Sarkozy
– They’ve been dating for liiike…10 months (I’m so embarrassed for not knowing this)
– Apparently he proposed with a $350k ring, and she said no…but kept the ring? She’s probz richer than he is so it makes no sense.
And here are the love birds:
– Ashley Olsen was at the Vanity fair party this weekend and she was wearing some Victor & Rolf dress/cape/thingymabob. She still looked amaze. Apparently she was smoking cigs on the terrace. As if that’s news.
– According to some reports, they renounced acting in 2012 and are only going to be doing behind the scenes shit now, because let’s be honest…they are rich as fuck and have the best sour smirk faces in the world and can do whatever the hell they want. I mean, they take the shittiest things and make them cool. Like Mary Kate with anorexia.
– In addition if you don’t own anything from Elizabeth & James yet, get on that. Their clothes are bohemian chic and worth it. The Row is still out of my price range, but a girl can dream.
– According to WWD, the twins just announced in late January that they will be releasing a bag and small leather goods line from Elizabeth & James, with “affordable” prices ranging from $125-$625. No doubt these will fly off the shelf like hot cakes.
– I googled the eff out of Ashley to see who she was dating and I got nothing for ya. ALTHOUGH, there were rumors of her secretly dating Johnny Depp. That would be MAYJ.
– For years I have been going back and forth over who my fave twin was…but I gotta go Ashley on this. I think Mary Kate’s weirdo phase freaked me out when I wasn’t wise enough to understand that being anorexic and dirty and wearing big furs was a “thing.”
Let me know who your fave twin is and WHY? Maybe I can be persuaded.
Til then, I’ll be singing “Brotherrrr for saaaaaaaale….Only 5 cents!” because now I cant get that Olsen jingle the eff out of my head.